Can Birth Parents Take Their Child Back After Adoption

We get this one A LOT. To me it seems a person’s curiosity will often lean towards the negative. People will flat out say (often in front of our kids) Can birth parents take their child back after adoption or I heard that the (real) birth parents can take back their kids whenever they want. The answer is no. Once an adoption is finalized they are your legal child.

That being said there are different hoops to jump through and possible loopholes to get to that magical day of finalization. Here is a BRIEF explanation on the subject according to the three different types of adoption.

Domestic Adoption

Birth parents chose adoption for their child because they care for their child. Children are often placed as infants. Each state has their own laws they adhere to. It is VERY important that you work with an agency/lawyer that knows the law for your state.

If the birth parents can prove there was fraud or coercion then there can be a possible reversal of the decision.

• Birth parents sign relinquishment papers

• Next is a waiting period where the birth parents can change their mind (varies by state)

• Once that time is passed their parental rights are terminated

• The child must be in your home for a period of time (again varies by state typically 6 months)

• Then the child is legally adopted in a court of law

• You get a fancy new birth certificate for your child listing you as “parent” Big Smiles!

*In domestic adoption it is typically the birth mother who relinquishes her rights. Each state has their own laws concerning putative (unmarried) fathers. Most “lifetime movies” about children returning home are based on the putative father’s rights being violated. Again work with a professional.

 Foster Care Adoption

Children are placed into foster care involuntarily by their parents who are unable to care for them. These kids are typically older or part of sibling group.

• Licensed foster parents care for the child until parental rights are terminated

• At that time the foster parents have “dibs” on whether to adopt the child or not

• If the foster parent chooses not to adopt the child they are then put on a list and “matched” with a potential family (here is where I insert my plug for AdoptUsKids.org Click around. There are so many cuties!)

• Once with their new adoptive family there is the waiting period (again varies by state typically 6 months)

• Then the child is legally adopted in a court of law

• You get a swanky new birth certificate for your child listing you as “parent” Hooray!

But, here’s the catch. With foster care adoption the birth parents can APPEAL the court’s decision to Terminate Parental Rights. It is very RARE that the court’s decision is overturned. The birth parents have a limited amount of time after their rights are terminated to file an appeal. When they do file an appeal the appellate court looks to make sure that everything was legally handled to reach the TPR decision. Still, let it be said that it is a risk.

We are currently trudging through an appeal process ourselves at the moment. It’s scary, frustrating and downright annoying, but to us the kiddos are worth the risk. Our experiences have been with foster and domestic adoption, which brings us to the third category;

International Adoption

Adoptive parents sometimes choose this route to avoid birth parent interaction. Although there have been cases when a birth parent from another country does take action it is rare. In my opinion, with international adoption most of the risk is up front. After the child is snuggled home safely with you there is very little chance in a birth parent seeking to have that decision overturned. I’m not at all saying that this is the easiest option of the three. I don’t think there is an easy option with adoption, but this does seem to be the least risk when discussing biological parent interaction.

A statement like Can birth parents take their child back after adoption just feeds into the fears of those thinking about adoption. My advice: look at the three adoption options and ask yourself which one you feel most comfortable with? Do you want to know the child is free and clear with no looking back? Then try international. If you want that brand new baby then it’s most likely domestic adoption for you. If you’re crazy like us right now then grab a gaggle of foster kids and cross your fingers that it’ll all work out in the end (which thankfully we’ve seen it usually does). Regardless, each option can lead you to your forever family. Just remember you have their birth parents to thank for it.

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Tagged with: adopted kids • Adoption • Birth Mother • birth parents • Foster Care • Thinking About Adopting