Running Away

September 27, 2012

 Today’s adoption video is RUNNING AWAY.  Running away may seem like the answer to many adopted kids. And it can put great strain on the relationship between parents and teenagers.

 

Running Away VIDEO TRANSCRIPT:

Adolescence can be surprisingly tricky when raising adopted kids. I’m Ryun Hovind and today I’m going to discuss How to prevent your child from running away. When our oldest son was 9 he struggled with his homework. Consequently he threatened to run away almost daily. MeLisa came up with a creative way to show him why that wouldn’t solve his problem. She made him stay outside all day in our fenced in backyard. No electronics. No toys. Just him left alone with his thoughts. At mealtimes she acted as a soup kitchen for the homeless, providing him with a slice of bread and a cup of soup. Throughout the day, she explained what his life would be like if he chose to leave home.

After that day he never threatened to run away again. Through experience he had learned a valuable lesson. Running away didn’t solve the problem of finishing his homework. Kids threaten to run away all the time. Heck even adults do. The question is when to know if the threat is serious and why the child is making the threat. So, why do kids run away? Well typically it is their solution to escape their problems. More often than not the problem revolves around a fight with their parents. Children also run away because of pressures they’re feeling or they run away from abuse they’re experiencing.

The threat has more weight when the child is a teenager. Over a million teens runaway in our country each year. Sadly, here in Hollywood you see them everywhere. To prevent your child from running away you need to teach your child how to handle stressful situations. Work with your child on how to express their emotions. Show them calming techniques like walking away, lying down, counting to ten, or deep breathing. If you have a teenager who needs extra time to “cool off”, agree on a safe place they can go to. This has worked well for us, just be sure the safe place is with a mentor you approve of. It helps for your teen to vent, but it’s the mentor’s job to ultimately encourage them to return home and FACE the issue.

If your child does run away be sensitive when they return. It’s been just as tough on them as it’s been on you. When they do come home your child will need to know that you still love them regardless of their poor judgment. You do still need to have appropriate loving consequences for their actions. And in more serious instances you may need to involve outside help such as a therapist. It’s a very stressful situation when your child runs away. Remember to be calm. When they return the goal is to prevent it from happening again.

Help other parents know how you’ve handled your child running away. Share your story in the comments below. If you know of someone who has run away and needs help please call the National Runaway Switchboard at 1-800-RUNAWAY. For more information on adoption parenting please check out our website at adoptivelegacy.com

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